Temptation.. the soul is willing but the flesh is weak..

The flesh is indeed week. I'm aware of how weak I am when it comes to dealing with temptation. Though my heart had been determined to let my soul win, the flesh will always manage to persuade me to do otherwise.

Jesus had been tempted as much as we are.. Maybe more. Yet, He managed to say NO to the temptations. He knew how it felt to be tempted. With that in mind, I need to keep on going to fight this battle against evil. It just so happen that I actually have Jesus to fight with me. Dear Jesus.. Please never give up on me.. Please..

Drifted..

Phew.. Time did flew so fast. After my last post, here I am looking at my dusty blog and think 'did i wrote all that entries before?'.. haha.. kidding.. I miss blogging.. I miss pouring out my personal battle in my spiritual life. This is definitely a tough fight. With me being busier than ever, I had been having a deterioration in my spiritual connection with Jesus. I hate myself for that. Honestly, my soul get sick of this busy-all-material life I have been living now. I no longer spend time reading the bible. I can't even finish the Christian related books I would have enjoyed reading last time. What is this? Am I losing the battle? I determine to find my way back to Him. I cannot keep on living my life, drifting away from Him. And with that, I wanted to start blogging again. Blogging about His involvement in my everyday life. To remind myself how I need to keep Him as priority. Jesus.. I'm sorry I drifted away.. :(

I know my redeemer lives!

Last night, I feel such a pain in my heart. I end up putting the pain in a piece of paper. I wrote a poem. I translated the pain into my 'Am I that easy to forget?' entry.

I know I have no right to judge anyone with anything they had done or are doing. And I don't have any intention to do that either. As posted in my previous entries, I had experienced doubt in my life. I had doubted my Redeemer. I once had doubted my Jesus. I can clearly understand that at some point of our life, we will reach this point where we have so many lingering questions and doubts. But the saddest part is when the doubt start arising, the approach chose is misleading.

What makes me willing to go all the trouble - the crying, the praying - to find the answer?
*My personal experience with Jesus*

The road I had traveled had left a footprints. Tracking back that footprints had bring me back to the very place I had started my journey. At the feet of my God. No matter how I doubt, His presence in my life is too strong, too intimate to be ignored.

What really pains me is seeing such a wonderful daughter of God turning her back from Him. Pursuing 'mortal love' and learning how to doubt Him for the sake of the newly-founded love.. Can Jesus be easily forgotten?

That stinging pain I felt must have been only a small part of pain Jesus is experiencing. I know no words of mine can really express how hurt He felt. But still, I'm thanking Him for sharing this pain with me. Who can better hurt you more that the person you love the most.

I know for sure that my redeemer live. That He live, die and is risen for me. I CAN FEEL HIM..
I shared with you dear readers one of my favourite song that had always help me going back to track when I seems to lose my focus on God. May God bless us all..

Till finger meet keypad again.

Am I that easy to forget?

My love,
I am always here for you
sticking to you like a glue
cheering when you feel blue
how much I love you,
don't you have a clue?

I had been the one you adore
but now I'm the stranger outside your door
knocking..
calling..
hurting..
crying..

My love,
you had trampled on my heart
you had set your life apart
with a person whose once is your sweetheart
to a new love, your heart had thwart

The love I once knew
had turn to doubt
My love,
is now - just a piece of clout..

The road you now choose
is no longer,
the road we traveled before
I was left..
Was trodden
Was forgotten..

My love..
Am I that easy to forget?

Signed,
Jesus

Written by,
Debbie Annabell
21.9.10

My God.. My God.. Where are you?

My God.. My God

Where are you?

Have mercy on me,

this unworthy clod

The treasure of the world,

bring me no good

My God... My God…

Where are you?

The child of yours had been restless

The soul, the heart had been anchorless

Where are you my Father of AWESOMENESS

Where can I find You and all your gentleness?

I’m here my child

I’m here..

Don't have to find me in the wild

I'm here my child

I'm here..

Hugging you with an embrace so mild

My God... My God

Where can I find you?

I'm searching for you high and low

To You, this heart I will avow

I'm here my child

I'm here...

We will never grown apart

you will seek me and find me

when you seek me,

with all your heart.. (Jer 29:13)

Written by,

Debbie Annabell

(20-Sep-10)

Where will all the Christian go?

It's been sometime.. I really wanted to update my blog if it's not because of the piling of works that need immediate attention. But no matter how busy life can be, the priority of life must always rest in GOD..

Years ago, I have experienced a great temptation in my life. So great is the temptation that I can end up crying and feeling guilty. If it was now, any temptation, no matter how great it is, I have my Jesus to depend on. But back then, it was my Jesus that push me into the verge of guilty beyond explanation.. And that is a phase in my life that had make me, ME! Praise god.

If u ever been in a phase where u have doubt in your existence and the person behind it, then we sure did have something in common. I've been in that shoe before. Luckily I manage to eventually found what shoe I should have bought in the beginning.

If you are Christian or someone who 'claims' to be one, ask yourselves, 'WHERE WILL I GO?' and NO I'm not talking bout asking yourselves where to hangout tonight or this weekend. Instead I'm asking you to ask yourselves, if I die, where would i go? Peculiar enough, I have been asking this to myself since I was just 9. It had been a puzzle to me before. "Why God create me, if I am destined to die someday?" "What's the reason of my existence?" - those kind of Question come across my mind once a while. But being a toddler bring me no where near to the answer. Eventually, all those questions subsided together with teens raging hormone.

It was when I was 18 that my faith had been tested to the point I end up doubting my belief and faith to my Jesus. I was in college doing my pre-U studies when this particular teacher who seems nice and all start to get 'interested' with my faith. Questions rained on me. Mostly, those I have no clue on how to answer. At that point, his questions become my doubting reason. 'Am I worshiping the correct God'? - The ultimate question!

For a year, I struggle with doubt. Though I carry on performing my duty as a Christian, I had lost my foundation. But deep down in my heart I know I HAVE to find the answer. And so I thought, if I need to find the answer, I must first look for it in the bible. That's when the hunting begun.

Praise be to Lord - HE, knowing my incapability - had change my doubt into unwavering faith. The bible had open my eyes. Had finally put my scavenging heart to rest. I cried when my heart were touched deeply. John 14:6 speaks clearly to me.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Bull eyes!

My journey had not been easy. It took me a while to fully 'experienced' His love. I took me a slap. A heart break.. A pain.. And now I can proudly claim I AM A CHRISTIAN. His miracles resonate in my life. I can't never convince you on how great the miracles are. U have to experience it yourselves to know.

Where will all Christian go? If you put your faith in Him and get your faith going in action, believe it, He's waiting for us in Heaven. Amen!

Till finger meet keypad again. God bless!

(Published in fishonfriday.wordpress.com on 13 Sept 10)

I fear no evil..

Psalm has always been one of my favourite in the bible. It is such an honest, heart pouring words of David to the Lord. There are so many favorites chapter too. And Psalm 23 is one of them. Each words express a strong feeling of dependency and trust in God. I often read this chapter and gain courage from it.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want

He makes me lie down in green pastures

He leads me beside still waters

He restores my soul

He leads me in path of righteousness for His name sake

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

I fear no evil

for thou art with me

Thy rod and staff, they comfort me..

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies

Thou anointest my head with oil

my cup overflows

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life

and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord, FOREVER..

Psalm 23 can really soothe me and it give me a very comfortable feeling. A feeling of security. A feeling of being cared and loved intensely. A feeling of urging forgiveness. A feeling of peace.. To put it simple - I just like this feeling. May the Lord peace be with you too..

Till finger meet keypad again.. :)

(Published in Fishonfriday.wordpress.com on 27 Apr 10)